To Upskill Or Not to Upskill?

If you were like me a couple of months ago and deemed not “essential” enough to remain employed, you probably hit up every Facebook job ad and ‘no experience required’ post known to man in the weeks that followed. I reckon I swallowed my pride so many times applying for supermarket and delivery gigs that my tonsils were about ripe for extraction. Anyway, before being thrown a life-vest by Scomo’s swift ‘LeaderSHIP’ (Jobseeker and Jobkeeper schemes), I found myself desperate to reel in any paying job or prospect I could latch onto.

On one occasion, I was actually fortunate enough to get a call back from a large recruitment agency suggesting I upskill by attending a TAFE course to better my employment opportunities. Considering this was my first reply that wasn’t a hard NO, I clung to it like mouldy cheese on an old toastie machine. After realising I probably wasn’t going to have a better chance of finding a job any sooner than the average course length of 6-8 weeks, I registered to attend the TAFE’s free information session. Despite being a paper-pushing, swivel-chair enthusiast at heart, this was my IN.

 

MEME

The session took place in a part town many wouldn’t venture to if not for very good reason. “Right next to Zambrero’s” were the directions given. And all in all, it was actually very insightful. As I sat there, 1.5 metres away from my nearest fellow job seeker, I realised I was much more entertained by the people in attendance than the courses being discussed. With my back against the wall and no government support forthcoming at the time, I listened to every word throughout the session.

I suppose what I’m saying is, if you’re looking to navigate a clear path ahead so you’re all set for when the Government turns the money tap off, consider attending a TAFE info session yourself. Here’s a list of memorable characters I encountered which should help you on your way.

Over-enthusiastic, swoll AF hype man

Tasked with introducing the presenters, courses and escorting you to the presentation room, this guy’s got more confidence in his right bicep than most men have in their ability to pee straight at night with the lights off. It can be daunting stepping foot into a new environment, especially a new area of study or work, so it’s important to be surrounded by people like this guy that’ll confidently tell you what IS possible, as well as what’s NOT.

Jaded 40-something who’s done his research

When you’re too scared to ask the hard-hitting questions, like “how much does this course REALLY cost?” the guy in the back who’s not afraid to share what he knows is really going to help you out. Many TAFE courses offer concession rates that vary according to your situation, so you can be sure ol’ mate carrying the weight of 20 years industry experience and an entire family on his shoulders is going to ask what you may not be willing to. He may hog question time, but this guy’s your hero.

Trainwreck

Be prepared for this loose unit to stroll in 10 minutes late with bright green hair, or earlobes spaced so wide you could throw paper aeroplanes through them. Most of us think before we speak, but the sheer volume of unfiltered outbursts from this guy did in fact lead to some insightful discussions within the class. If you’re too afraid to ask the ‘dumb’ questions, hopefully he’s around to do it for you.

Mr. Industry Contacts

The first lecturer of the morning, this career-hardened journeyman pushed 65 and appeared ready to caravan around the country never to return. With an encyclopedia of industry contacts, he’s got the skills, know-how and connections to work almost every course offered, and probably has. It’s always helpful to hear from someone who has “been there, done that” and can directly help you achieve your goals. To be honest, it was a shame he only stuck around for 20 mins as he had a lot to say. Become a sponge when this guy is around. He’s the key into your preferred industry.

For those of you wondering about the lack of female representation in this short list, I can honestly say it’s due to the shockingly male-dominated attendance I experienced. While I have no clear reason why that would be, I can only hope the nation treats all workers according to their past experience, and not the gender they identify with, when the workforce gradually pieces itself back together.

I should probably also note that to this date I haven’t yet chosen to pursue a field of study at TAFE, or any other trade college to upskill for when all this is over. Call it pride, indecisiveness… even a false sense of security. But I’ll tell you what; being eligible to claim Jobkeeper, required to work occasionally and left with enough time to pursue your real passions is not the worst way to live.

 

 

Job Hunter: One Man’s Quest for A Purposeful Life

Do you have a passion for great customer service and a can-do attitude? We are seeking experienced personnel with excellent skills and flexibility to work in a fast-paced, rewarding role. Does this sound like you? Apply within!

 

Yes yes blah blah sure I think so.. do I? Uhh yeah that could be..is me. (If I say yes, can I start earning cash soon?)

Apply.

Anyone finding themselves applying for hospitality/casual employment opportunities has no doubt come across this absolute cliche of a job advertisement. Do they get this out of the “Recruiting Young Employees for Minimum Wage” handbook?

I guess I would instead use my own analogy I call, “The Fisherman” to describe the position of a young job seeker:

The optimistic fisherman awakens prior to the crack of dawn, gathers his equipment and humble fishing vessel before setting out on a quest to encounter his sought after catch. He prepares himself to the best of his ability, perhaps armed with an assortment of tackle, rods and hooks to suit his environment. Although he may possess the necessary skills, knowledge and experience to catch the fish he seeks, it really is up to chance as to whether or not he strikes gold. Is he in the right bay, at the right time, on the right day? Sometimes, he dangles his rod amidst the ripples of the ocean for 10 minutes and is fortunate enough not to require a minute more. Other days, he waits from 8am to 4pm and doesn’t get even a single bite. Such is the wrath of the ocean. Such is the wrath of the employment market. Bullish job seekers apply for job after job, often with an impressive array of previous roles and positions. The fisherman’s fight to reel in the fish once it bites and hooks is his interview for the job. Does the fish believe he has the ability to be caught by the man? Considering seasonality, number of fisherman in the bay, skill and experience, the fisherman will always require a degree of fortune when seeking his prized catch.

Memegenerator

Coming back from overseas with essentially no income and dwindling funds in my collection of modest bank accounts, I find myself on a pursuit with the only acceptable outcome being the acquisition of a job.

I’ve already done the equivalent to girl scouts knocking on doors to sell cookies, that is, wandering around restaurant and bar strips holding copies of my resume in a nice, shiny folder (pretending of course that each establishment I enter is the only one I will apply to work at). That is way too exhausting, repetitive, somewhat intimidating, as well as often a complete waste of time…until you get a call for an interview, but whatever. I suppose those kinds of businesses are typically smaller in staff and size, and are much more likely to hire a desperate job seeker when at least somebody that works there has actually seen their face.

Quickmeme

THIS TIME, I have been much less inclined to do that as I’ve been on the look out for less food and beverage related positions, and more ‘I’ll work any hour of the day for decent pay if you’ll hire me’ ones. Those being at airports, hotels, night-fill at supermarkets… I don’t mind being customer facing, just not for tedious roles with average hourly wages and unstable rostered shifts. I JUST NEED DAT MULLAH!

Another thing that really peeves me off is the ‘We’ll inform you of your application status as soon as possible’ statement. You know, they tell you that an email will be sent to you in 2-3 days regarding your success or failure in obtaining an interview. Do I want the email? Well I’d rather receive it in the promised 2-3 days if I don’t get a call back. However, not getting the email leaves me with the hope that my name is in contention for the job, in which case, I’m happy to wait in hope for another week with the odd chance that one of your recruitment members has actually viewed, maybe even recommended me! But that’s just wishful thinking of course. I’ll take the rejection email to go, thanks.

Quickmeme

So… I guess what I’m saying is: Anybody reading this in the Perth Metro Area, please give me a job!!

Oh but rather one that doesn’t involve wiping old people’s arses, cancelled shifts within an hour of work, being sent home because it’s raining, minimal parking or public transport options, unfriendly staff, an excessive amount of conscious thought…

Uhh yeah so really anything available I’ll take, k thanks.

 

Suburban Youth Hostel

“Seems like it’s only cleaned once a month. Staff are friendly. Minimum of activities in hostel and surrounding area is not ideal. Have to catch a bus to the city or any main sights. Was a comfortable stay and bathroom/toilet facilities maintained. I enjoyed my experience but probably wouldn’t come back.” 6/10
Vladthenomad_88

I imagine the above is the kind of thing you’d find written about my house at the moment, if you were to see it listed on hostelworld.com. (Kudos to the reviewer for half-decent spelling and grammar).

So I’ve been living alone for almost 3 weeks now, as my only other housemate, my dad, has jet-setted off to Europe for a month. Where mature-aged kids get a bad wrap is when their parents go away, thinking their children can  barely survive a week without them. Can he cook for himself? Can he clean my goddamn house for once? If I come back and those weeds are taller than Lebron James, he’s got something coming… Or at least, I can see my dad posing these questions to himself with at least 80% sincerity. Thanks for the vote of confidence Dad… The interesting thing about humans is that we often don’t choose to act, unless it is absolutely necessary.

I’m sure you’ve seen those movies where the family is dining at a restaurant, the unfortunate grandpa chokes on a pea, desperately hoping that somebody has the skill or willingness to pull the Heimlich on him. Usually people stand around, waiting, praying that one person in their vicinity has enough of a hero-complex to save a life. Now, imagine it was just you and the pea-choker in a room by yourselves. If you didn’t act, guess who gets the blame for not puckering up the courage to extend Grandpa’s life another 5 years? Well you see my point. I’ve lived in a house and grown up with people around all my life, understand the basics of photosynthesis, have access to an unlimited supply of celebrity cooking shows and YouTube tutorials, and have seen where my dad keeps the cleaning spray… Guys, I got this.

Quickmeme

Zach’s June Meal Plan

Day 1.
Breakfast: Cereal
Lunch: Hotdogs
Dinner: Mie Goreng Noodles

Day 2.
Breakfast: Toast with Nutella
Lunch: Pasta with cheese
Dinner: Pasta with cheese leftovers

Day 3.
Breakfast: Cereal
Lunch: Hotdogs
Dinner: Mie Goreng Noodles AND a can of baked beans

Swim Bike Mom

*For those of you wondering if I can see my feet from a standing position, yes, yes I can. (A gym membership is like a substitute for your daily consumption of fruit and vegetables. Please don’t tell my doctor that).

Anyway, getting back to the hostel analogy… My dad actually keeps the house in pretty good shape. (Renting means the house looks spotless and IKEA-like at remarkably consistent junctures every 3 months). Although, he is constantly telling me I live in a hotel, what with the supposed lack of assistance I provide in key living criteria.
Joke’s on him though:
– I’m still alive,
– Haven’t left the gas on overnight since last week,
– The weeds are only at Lebron High School Freshman height (You’ve gotta be more specific with your Lebron comparisons if you’re gonna catch me out, Dad).

But it’s like that boss that only sees your faults or when you’re that 2 minutes late for work once a fortnight, he only notices these things and nothing else. Sure I forgot to unpack the dishwasher..again, but what about your coffee mug that’s been on the table for 3 days? Order leads to oblivion until there is disorder.

Quickmeme

With 7 days of solo living remaining, here’s to a pleasant stay, hot running water and unobtrusive neighbours. If you don’t hear from me again, I’ve probably drowned in my own filth.

 

Can I Quit While I’m Behind?

22, barely employed and no concept of where the week ends and the weekend begins. Sound familiar? That’s where I currently find myself, I suppose it’s easier not to have responsibilities than to actually care about something. But speaking with fellow comrades battling that 20-something shock to the senses that life throws at you, it’s actually more common than you might think. I don’t know about anybody else but this is my play-by-play of a journey that I’ve been told should lead to somewhere…

So, navigating through a public high school is fun. You get past the first two or three years until the kids with the words “later bruh” or “criminal tendencies” written on their snapbacks get weeded (pardon the pun) out of the system. Then you’re expected to smash out your tertiary exams and give yourself the best darn chance of getting into one of your state’s top 2 (of maybe 5 total) universities to study something you’re not even 100% sure you want to study anyway. Well, I guess I was lucky at the time because I thought I knew exactly what I wanted to ‘pursue for the rest of my life,’ be it at age 17.

Advertising was the path for me. The first couple of years seemed easy enough, and the road to the end was actually quite enjoyable. Forming closer relationships with those studying the same thing you are, and healthy competition for good marks made for an insight into team dynamics and people skills that can’t be valued enough when stepping into the workplace. What universities don’t seem to stress enough to young grads is the importance of time-management and networking skills, but that’s another story.

Willow

Ok… by this point my close uni mates and I had made it through relatively unscathed; green, eager-eyed, ready to take on the world and make a name for ourselves. Some of them had jobs already, part-time or full-time at ad agencies that we supposedly idolised. I even did an 8 week paid networking course with like-minded individuals also keen to kick some advertising butt…and it sort of worked. I did well in given assignments, met industry professionals,  I even landed two job interviews. Then comes the all-too-familiar undercurrent of every graduate’s experience with job-seeking:

I JUST DON’T POSSESS ENOUGH EXPERIENCE TO FILL THIS POSITION…OR ANY POSITION I REALLY WANT

dykewriter

Whether this was verbally delivered to me or simply implied I can’t quite recall, either way it definitely hurts. Nevertheless, not the most surprising or unexpected outcome of looking to make gainful employment as a ‘fully-fledged adult.’

However, believe it or not I did find work in the circa-advertising field (though how I landed my first full-time gig is a story for another day). Let’s just say I worked for 18 months in a role I took because I lacked:
-Experience,
-Knowledge,
-A database of business contacts, and
-An Ian Thorpe-sized foot that I could poke through any door worth opening

Now, having to leave that role due to chronic “Get-me-outta-here” Syndrome, I’m working part-time (barely casual) at a restaurant and staying afloat through my new-found talent to be seen this Sunday in my special, “Bargain Hunter: A Young Man’s Guide to Meeting Calorie Requirements By Any Means Possible” (Disclaimer: Don’t try this at home). Yeah, as far as cash goes right now I’m tighter than a plus-sized model trying to fit into Size 0 jeans. Don’t ask me to lend you money, the only two cents I can give you is this blog entry.

Two months out of full-time work, living at home, looking to travel, questioning career pathways, investigating study options (do I really have another choice?), let’s see what happens next.

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